HOW TO TEACH A CHILD TO LEARN | A PSYCHOLOGIST EXPLAINS
Parents should not encourage their children to learn with gifts, but they should develop a cult of learning in the family and maintain the authority of teachers. How to motivate and control your child
How do I control my child’s learning?
I have often seen how parents try to control their children’s learning and ruin relationships with their children. For many families, a child’s assessment is an assessment of their upbringing. Mums and dads often take this to heart and relate the assessment to themselves and not to the child. However, they do not even think that they can hire a paper writer to write an essay and get an excellent mark with little effort. If the child has problems at school, he or she is bound to have problems with his or her parents. You have to find a balance in this and find the right interaction with the little ones. The family emphasizes learning and it becomes indifferent to the moral state of the child, then it just closes itself off from everyone, begins to cheat, and tears sheets from a notebook or diary.
It is necessary to separate learning from the child. You should understand and love your child, even if she brings back failures at school because there is always a reason for that.
Who needs assessments: parents or children?
I suppose mostly the parents. The importance of homework is still in question, you can find some pros and cons here. To be honest, I don’t think children don’t care about grades. However, for parents it is an easy way, especially without having to immerse themselves in the situation, to get some figures testifying to what the child is doing at school. The family is not interested in what the kid has memorized from the school curriculum, what his learning or writing off morals are, just mum and dad looking at the grade and feeling like good parents, feeling at ease. If they find out a bad grade, they immediately start to intervene and sharply educate the child. That’s why I don’t think that grades should be a guide.
We all went to school and know that grades are subjective, despite the criteria that exist. Teachers are human beings and people are not good at grading objectively.
A child’s reaction to a grade depends a lot on the people around him, not only parents but also teachers. Some teachers humiliate students because of a grade as if it were a statement or a personality trait. However, some are supportive and do not make a tragedy out of it. When parents are dissatisfied with a grade, the child feels depressed as well, because the youngster’s primary goal is to please his or her parents. Offspring often perceive the world through the eyes of their parents. The family may put on a show when the child gets a good grade after school, but they are not so happy when there is a “fail”, then the kid sees without criticism that he/she could not make Mum and Dad happy, which makes children dependent on the child’s reactions
How do parents react to grades and different situations at school?
There is no universal recipe because all children are different, but it is better never to ask straight away why they didn’t get a better grade. This creates conflict as if there is a complaint about the pupil. It is better to ask about what influenced it, what happened in class, and how the child felt.
A lot also depends on the intonation. The child mustn’t be afraid of their parents.
It is also necessary to maintain the authority of the teachers because often parents blame the school teachers, take the side of the child and devalue the educational work. It is necessary to have a golden mean, without extremes. One should not develop negligence towards teachers.
I am generally in favor of avoiding criticism. Of course, it will still be present, but it does little good. A child can go and clean up, do their homework or try to do better the next day but such parental behavior ruins the relationship.
What is the right way to praise a child?
It is possible to praise your child actively. However, if nothing is said when a child brings a low grade, then there may be a dependence on approval. Often parents go overboard with praise, then the offspring loses self-esteem. I would minimize the parents’ enthusiasm and advise them to talk to their children about such situations, whether they want to change bad grades, or find out how to help with learning.
Do gifts help to learn?
I think it spoils learning. Parents are often scared that if a child gets bad marks, he won’t go on holiday. A pupil will try to get only high marks, but then it’s not about gaining knowledge. He may memorize the information, but forget everything after the test. However, you can take some days off to relax your children. For example, you can go to the best essay writing service reddit to find some useful tools that make your children’s lives easier. And remember that children should not be motivated by fear or a bonus.